Beauty from Within

I have received quite a few comments about how my Instagram ins't full of selfies. Actually I'm positive my other posts outweigh the amount of selfies I have.  To test this, I went through and counted how many posts I had, that had myself in it. I got around 70 (I estimated since I might have missed some).

I am in no way saying that because someone posts a copious amount of selfies, that they are insecure. They may just happen to feel cute all the time. I was more shocked that the people who have said those comments to me, had a negative connotation. According to them, it's a bad thing to not have 200+ pictures of yourself. I take it as quite the opposite (and I consider my Instagram a picture blog of sorts of my life).

I know I am beautiful. I don't need likes, retweets, or comments to tell me that. I don't need other people's approval of me. I know I am talented and loved. I know I have wonderful gifts as a daughter of God. I know my friends like me for who I am, not what I look like or what I possess. I am much more concerned about developing my talents and personality than hoping other people think that my "eyebrows are on fleek" (what does that even mean?). I am more concerned that my Heavenly Father is happy with who I'm becoming than what I look like. To Him, I'm already beautiful. I am enough to Him. I understand this.

Have you gotten wrapped up in your outer appearance that you forgot that your personality is what really counts? Have you started to focus on your physical traits rather than your spiritual and personality traits? In a world where everything is skin deep, we have forgotten that looks don't matter. Looks fade over time, but a kind personality never grows old. A genuine smile will never go out of style.

I have noticed that since I have disappeared off of Twitter, that I'm much happier. I don't have to worry about comparison, competition, and being enough. I remember the eternal truths: I am enough. God doesn't make mistakes. If you're not happy with some aspect of yourself that is not physically, work to change it for better. Each day is a new start. I have a goal to go to bed each night having forgiven everyone who I have felt has wronged me in any way. It was hard to develop, but I am much happier and I sleep better at night because of it.

If you're living the gospel of Jesus Christ joyfully and striving to have Christlike attributes, you cannot fail. Don't shine so others can see you. Shine so through you, others can see Christ. I love you all so very much. Have a fabulous week my lovelies.

Love,
Janae

P.S. I may or may not have gone back to Twitter. Good luck finding me :)

Change of Plans

In the world today, you must have their whole life planned by the time you graduate high school. You must know what college you're going to attend, what you're majoring in, when you'll get married and where, how many kids you want and their pre-appointed birthdays, as well as when you'll retire and what color you want your beach house in the Caribbean to be. Sounds familiar right? It can be stressful thinking you have to have your whole life planned out before you're allowed to vote.

If you asked me a year ago where I would be in five years, I would have said that I would be an RM who was married to some wonderful guy that I met at BYUI while getting my degree in accounting. Now, if you ask me where I'll be in five years, I can honestly say I don't know. I have no clue. I don't think I'll be an RM. Maybe I'll be married? I probably will have a degree in something from somewhere.

I know that no matter where I am in five years, that as long as I'm doing what Heavenly Father wants for me, I'll be fine. He knows what's best for you! So if that means not going on a mission, then don't go. You gotta exercise your faith in the Man upstairs. He knows how everything will play out. I have gotten into the habit of asking Heavenly Father for His opinion on what I should do when it comes to life changing decisions. If I don't receive an answer, I go ahead in proceeding with what feels right. If it brings you closer to God, it cannot be bad.

Now there will be some decisions He'll leave up to you to make. Congrats He trusts you! I think it's both an honor and an annoyance. An honor because Heavenly Father trusts me to make a good decision and an annoyance because I always am afraid I'll make the wrong choice. You may feel how I'm feeling. You may yet to feel how I'm feeling. Either way, you have to have confidence in yourself. And if it's not right, Heavenly Father will always help you out.

"Be strong and of good courage; be not dismayed for the Lord thy God will help thee withersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9

Love,

Janae

Life Update

For those who actually care about what's going on in my personal life, here's an overdue update. If you don't, I'll try to have another spiritual post up next week (spoiler alert: it might be about missions). Anyways, lets start back in May shall we?

So in May I graduated from High school and seminary. Fun times. I'm glad to be done but I will miss it. It certainly was an experience. I was so busy between work and graduation that I could barely breathe.

Then came June. Friends leaving on missions, missionary's birthdays, my own birthday took up the first three weeks. Then came a magnificent day. I got adopted! Yay! Finally 18 years later, I got myself a family.

 I also had the opportunity to be sealed to my parents in the Gilbert, Arizona temple. The spirit there was something like no other. I urge everyone to make it their goal to be temple worthy. After having been inside inside, I have the desire to go back and do anything to get there. Also I was so grateful that one of my sisters was able to come! She is such a sweetheart. :)

After that, I had a vacation to the Grand Canyon/Snowflake temple and then my wisdom teeth got removed. So naturally I didn't feel like doing anything. I could have blogged but I didn't. Although I have some good stuff saved in drafts right now. We'll see if it gets posted. Also feel free to comment below anything you want to see me write about!

Also I've decided to let you guys step into my personal lives. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter. If you dare that is. That's if you want more of me on a daily basis (warning: I can be a bit much to handle).  Anyways, I'll try to post end of this week or next weekend. Next week I'll be in San Diego with my best friend so hopefully I'll get around to posting on Friday or Saturday. I can't believe it's almost August! Where has the time gone?

-Janae

Blessings that Come from Living the Gospel

I've come to realize that as my life is more in harmony with the Gospel principles that I've become happier and I notice the blessings that come from it. I am in no way saying I'm perfect- I'm actually pretty far from it. But as I strive to keep the commandments, I see the blessings in my life.

I made it my goal to try and go to the temple weekly. So far I have, except for one week where my recommend was expired. That week was horrible! I found myself grumpy and being not really nice to anyone. It felt so good the next week when I was able to go to Snowflake temple. The Temple President came in and talked with my parents and I and I have never felt more blessed in my life!

So yesterday I got my wisdom teeth out. Such fun (insert sarcastic tone here). Tuesday however, I went to Mesa and did baptisms. I know I was blessed for going because my mouth doesn't hurt that much, I'm not swollen, and I can eat without much pain. Heavenly Father sure does spoil me.

As I've aligned my life to the gospel, which did include severing relationships, I am so much happier! It can be painful, but God's way is the right way. From here on out, I only plan on growing more in the gospel. I have a challenge for you! That's right, I'm getting crazy and switching things up. I want you to write down a list of what you can do to grow more in the gospel and pick one thing on that list and do it!

Love,
Janae

Heart to Heart

I need to be honest with you guys. This post will be messy, emotional, and downright truthful. I have been having one of those days where I just despise everything about myself. It was also one of those days where I hid in my room and cried for the majority of it. I want to change but I didn't know how. All of my friends support me, but then when I try to change they tease me for it. I know that they don't mean to hurt me, but I'm sensitive deep down. I hide it really well; almost too well, considering people think I'm mean.

So as I sat listening to hymns and bawling in my state of "why me," I realized I hadn't caught up on the blogs I read weekly. So I read my good friend, Ashley's, blog. Honestly, I bawled as I went through and read all of last year's and the year's before blogs. Every single one I needed. Her words gave me the strength to realize that I can change and to be okay with not knowing what the Lord wants me to do yet.

I'll be the first to admit that I have low self confidence. Many may not realize it, but I do. I am also really self conscious. I remember once upon a time, I was happy with who I was. Until a couple of my friends and Young Women leaders said some words that weren't kind, and suddenly I began to change, for worse. I didn't want to come off as a Molly Mormon or a know it all, so in church and seminary I would never answer. I wouldn't volunteer to do anything. I found if I hide, no one would make comments about me. I was afraid of failure, which may seem normal (and to some extent it is) but I wouldn't even think about trying new things, especially in front of people. I fell spiritually.

Church wasn't very helpful during this time, as I had Young Women leaders who weren't the greatest. Now I did have great leaders before and after them, but my Mia Maid years are years I like to forget. I would go home after mutual and sob my eyes out. I felt excluded. I felt hated. They weren't pretty years. I felt like church and mutual was prison more than paradise.

Thankfully, I had great Young Women leaders that got called after these years that helped picked up and fix some of what was destroyed by others and myself. I also got a job at a church bookstore which made me realize that it's okay to be knowledgable in the gospel. Now I enjoy reading gospel related books and learning. I still feel somewhat shunned for wanting to be a better member, but I am working on it.

That's my goal: become happy with myself. I want to get my individual worth back. And I hope that this post will inspire you to make a change in your life. We all have at least one thing that we aren't happy with that we can easily change, but don't. It could be because of fear, like mine. Or maybe lack of motivation. I know I also overthink way too much (just ask anyone). But do what will help you progress to be the better person that you want to be.

Now that I've bitten all my fingernails off out of stress and nerves while writing this, I hope you all strive to be a better person. Forget all of those who don't approve or like it. If your Heavenly Father approves, then do it. Don't let your peers or Satan stop you.

Love,
Janae

Don't Let Satan Get the Best of You

Lately, I've been feeling that Satan has been trying everything in his power to get me to be unhappy. I thought it was just because I was going to be sealed to my parents and then it would be over. I was sealed to them on Tuesday night, which was a happy day and occasion. However it is currently Friday morning, 12:07 to be exact, and I am still feeling miserable. How? I thought my trials would be over after I had gotten what Satan didn't want.

Unfortunately, our trials aren't over when a big event happens. In fact, our trials tend to blend one to another if we don't stop and step back and look at what it is going on in our lives from an eternal perspective. After I had a good cry, I realized this was what Satan wanted. So I decided to change my situation so Satan wouldn't get the best of me.

Music

Music can effect your mood and attitude, which thus effects your choices and actions. When I'm upset, I'll listen to hymns. I know how cliche can I be? I personally am the type of person who feels the Spirit most through music. The very first thing I do is turn on hymns. Sometimes it's instrumental so I can focus on the Spirit more. Other times it's Mormon Tabernacle Choir on full volume. As I listen to spiritual music, I feel Satan being pushed out of my spirit quite literally. I feel the yucky leave and be replaced with a peaceful, calm feeling.

Scripture Study

I find in times of conflict, I love reading about Christ's life. Whether I crack open 3rd Nephi or Matthew, I find the most comfort when I read Christ's direct teachings or about His life and sacrifice. Some days, I'll simply open to where I was reading last and dive in and read 5 chapters straight. I read until I feel the Spirit. Even after I feel the Spirit, I keep on reading. Some nights, I'll read until my eyes are burning and it's 3 am. I don't worry as much about when I should be going to bed or if I'm reading more chapters than my boyfriend or best friend. I just read. 

Conference Talks

If you're new here, you should learn one thing about me: I LOVE GENERAL CONFERENCE! For those of you seasoned readers, you know how much I love General Conference. I always make it a habit to have the latest conference edition Ensign downloaded on all my Gospel Library apps and that I have a physical copy on my nightstand. I am the type of girl who goes through a talk and highlights everything I like. Some talks end up being more yellow than white. If I'm going through something particularly hard, I'll research the topic and read past General Conference talks. The prophets always know what's up, even if it was from before I was born, they know. 

Prayer

I have a whole blog post on praying and it's power. I find when my mind is clouded and my heart is troubled, Heavenly Father is there to listen. I unload everything to Him. He knows my heart and my mind but He is anxious to hear from me, personally. He's waiting to hear from you. He can help you if you turn to Him. If you need peace, ask for it. I promise you will feel it in your life. 

Satan will attack you when you are spiritually weak and strong. When you are weak, he knows how to work into your thoughts and make you even weaker. But if you fight your battles on your knees and with the scriptures, you will win. The war against Satan is happening now. It's happening as you read this. You must decide if you want to arm yourself or be vulnerable. I know that he will lose, but will Satan win you over? I pray that he doesn't. I know this gospel to be true. I know that by doing the simplest of things, you can be spiritually protected and not let Satan get the best of you. 

Love,

Janae

Getting In Tune with the Spirit

I was scrolling through Pinterest trying to find inspiration for a blog post and I came across a great quote.

I absolutely love this! It then reminded me of my favorite conference talk from this past conference. "The Music of the Gospel" by Elder Wilford W. Andersen. Now this talk may be for parents and families but I decided to take it and apply it to the individual. For we all need the Holy Ghost! 

Elder Andersen first starts off with a story that I think we can all relate to. He tells of a doctor's encounter with a medicine man from the Navajo Nation. The medicine man ask him if he can dance to which the doctor said no. The man states he can teach him to dance, but he has to hear the music. How often is it that we are faced with someone, who asks us a gospel related question to which we cannot respond? Now there will always be things to learn, but we can change this situation to the medicine man asking, "Do you know the gospel?" That's a pretty deep and vague question all at the same time. We may respond that we do not know all of it, to which he would tell us "I can teach you, but you have to hear the Holy Ghost."

Oh how that changes the entire meaning! As Elder Andersen says, "The dance steps of the gospel are the things we do; the music of the gospel is the joyful spiritual feeling that comes from the Holy Ghost." We must practice the teachings of the gospel and then we will be able to hear the Holy Ghost.  We can't expect to have the Holy Ghost without living the principles of the gospel.

In order for us to teach the gospel, we have to "expand the curriculum beyond just the dance steps." The first step Elder Andersen says is that we have to live to be in tune with the Spirit. Makes sense. You can't be drunk and expect to hear the Holy Ghost. He does not shout rather He whispers quietly. 

The second step is to become an example to others. Once we know the dance steps, we must perform (Shay this reminds me of you). Living the gospel principles isn't something we just do at church or home. Christ wanted us "to be examples at all times, in all things, and in all places." I don't think Sunday Mormons was Christ's plan. 

Thirdly we must keep trying! Christ doesn't expect us to be perfect. I know that I am not perfect! We need to rely on the Atonement to help us to become better each day. Remember this is a gospel of multiple chances, not three strikes and you're out. Take each day as a challenge to do better than the last.

We must remember our trials are to make us stronger and help us come closer to Christ. If we live the principles of the gospel, we will be blessed and one of those blessings is the Holy Ghost. I know that I have be incredibly blessed by my Heavenly Father even when I do not deserve it. I try to live my life in a way that will be pleasing to Him and to be worthy of having the companionship of the Holy Ghost with me.

Love,

Janae