Life Update

For those who actually care about what's going on in my personal life, here's an overdue update. If you don't, I'll try to have another spiritual post up next week (spoiler alert: it might be about missions). Anyways, lets start back in May shall we?

So in May I graduated from High school and seminary. Fun times. I'm glad to be done but I will miss it. It certainly was an experience. I was so busy between work and graduation that I could barely breathe.

Then came June. Friends leaving on missions, missionary's birthdays, my own birthday took up the first three weeks. Then came a magnificent day. I got adopted! Yay! Finally 18 years later, I got myself a family.

 I also had the opportunity to be sealed to my parents in the Gilbert, Arizona temple. The spirit there was something like no other. I urge everyone to make it their goal to be temple worthy. After having been inside inside, I have the desire to go back and do anything to get there. Also I was so grateful that one of my sisters was able to come! She is such a sweetheart. :)

After that, I had a vacation to the Grand Canyon/Snowflake temple and then my wisdom teeth got removed. So naturally I didn't feel like doing anything. I could have blogged but I didn't. Although I have some good stuff saved in drafts right now. We'll see if it gets posted. Also feel free to comment below anything you want to see me write about!

Also I've decided to let you guys step into my personal lives. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter. If you dare that is. That's if you want more of me on a daily basis (warning: I can be a bit much to handle).  Anyways, I'll try to post end of this week or next weekend. Next week I'll be in San Diego with my best friend so hopefully I'll get around to posting on Friday or Saturday. I can't believe it's almost August! Where has the time gone?

-Janae

Blessings that Come from Living the Gospel

I've come to realize that as my life is more in harmony with the Gospel principles that I've become happier and I notice the blessings that come from it. I am in no way saying I'm perfect- I'm actually pretty far from it. But as I strive to keep the commandments, I see the blessings in my life.

I made it my goal to try and go to the temple weekly. So far I have, except for one week where my recommend was expired. That week was horrible! I found myself grumpy and being not really nice to anyone. It felt so good the next week when I was able to go to Snowflake temple. The Temple President came in and talked with my parents and I and I have never felt more blessed in my life!

So yesterday I got my wisdom teeth out. Such fun (insert sarcastic tone here). Tuesday however, I went to Mesa and did baptisms. I know I was blessed for going because my mouth doesn't hurt that much, I'm not swollen, and I can eat without much pain. Heavenly Father sure does spoil me.

As I've aligned my life to the gospel, which did include severing relationships, I am so much happier! It can be painful, but God's way is the right way. From here on out, I only plan on growing more in the gospel. I have a challenge for you! That's right, I'm getting crazy and switching things up. I want you to write down a list of what you can do to grow more in the gospel and pick one thing on that list and do it!

Love,
Janae

Heart to Heart

I need to be honest with you guys. This post will be messy, emotional, and downright truthful. I have been having one of those days where I just despise everything about myself. It was also one of those days where I hid in my room and cried for the majority of it. I want to change but I didn't know how. All of my friends support me, but then when I try to change they tease me for it. I know that they don't mean to hurt me, but I'm sensitive deep down. I hide it really well; almost too well, considering people think I'm mean.

So as I sat listening to hymns and bawling in my state of "why me," I realized I hadn't caught up on the blogs I read weekly. So I read my good friend, Ashley's, blog. Honestly, I bawled as I went through and read all of last year's and the year's before blogs. Every single one I needed. Her words gave me the strength to realize that I can change and to be okay with not knowing what the Lord wants me to do yet.

I'll be the first to admit that I have low self confidence. Many may not realize it, but I do. I am also really self conscious. I remember once upon a time, I was happy with who I was. Until a couple of my friends and Young Women leaders said some words that weren't kind, and suddenly I began to change, for worse. I didn't want to come off as a Molly Mormon or a know it all, so in church and seminary I would never answer. I wouldn't volunteer to do anything. I found if I hide, no one would make comments about me. I was afraid of failure, which may seem normal (and to some extent it is) but I wouldn't even think about trying new things, especially in front of people. I fell spiritually.

Church wasn't very helpful during this time, as I had Young Women leaders who weren't the greatest. Now I did have great leaders before and after them, but my Mia Maid years are years I like to forget. I would go home after mutual and sob my eyes out. I felt excluded. I felt hated. They weren't pretty years. I felt like church and mutual was prison more than paradise.

Thankfully, I had great Young Women leaders that got called after these years that helped picked up and fix some of what was destroyed by others and myself. I also got a job at a church bookstore which made me realize that it's okay to be knowledgable in the gospel. Now I enjoy reading gospel related books and learning. I still feel somewhat shunned for wanting to be a better member, but I am working on it.

That's my goal: become happy with myself. I want to get my individual worth back. And I hope that this post will inspire you to make a change in your life. We all have at least one thing that we aren't happy with that we can easily change, but don't. It could be because of fear, like mine. Or maybe lack of motivation. I know I also overthink way too much (just ask anyone). But do what will help you progress to be the better person that you want to be.

Now that I've bitten all my fingernails off out of stress and nerves while writing this, I hope you all strive to be a better person. Forget all of those who don't approve or like it. If your Heavenly Father approves, then do it. Don't let your peers or Satan stop you.

Love,
Janae